Fragments of Life...

And as the crisp wandering dawn folded into day I rest peacefully in the fields enclosed in sleep. Beautiful things haunting my dreams. Two moments passed, then the sun fell onto my face, in pillars of light and warmth my stinging eyes opened. The reeds and grass below covered my hands and arms in tears as the yellow light washed their bodies with melting frost. The colours of dreams still lingered behind my eyes. The scent of perfume against her neck. The shadows of birds flying overhead helped me adjust to the day. Fragments of dust from the night still slept on my eyelashes, waiting for me to rub them away. 
If we knew that every moment was a memory and all of those stitched together make our life, would you share a moment with me? To feel the presence of life in a hallway, or a forgotten kiss placed upon your lips.

Memories...

It's not that she wasn't wonderful, it's just her life had been overtaken by better memories. Like an endless song forever preserving a moment, continuing a kiss, inspiring love. Nothing ever left her heart, but her mind was constantly giving. Her thoughts twirled around fake memories of what could have been. Nothing is worse than the feeling of life wasted.

The Love of Night...

Lets dance here in the rain, the night watching you kiss me. Clouds licked the sky, carrying messages between stars as the day began to close between us. The moonlight framed the drops of water falling from the velvet sky, lighting up your features as they kissed your face. Your blue eyes reflecting through the rain that slept on your eyelashes momentarily. I was dreaming wide awake. Autumn leaves brushed around us enclosing us in a moment. I closed my eyes as we slipped through a cloud, falling into a pool of stars.
So this is what it's like to spend 15 minutes dreaming?

Feels Like Home...

They find a place in the sun and sit together for hours. Carefree, naked. They only know hunger, pain and love. The wild is their home and it holds them well. Resting in the snow that sparkles in the morning sun, they don't know that I love them, they don't know my day began with doubts, worries and sadness for reasons I can't explain, and that their simple act of existing made me rethink my woes, find happiness and wonder in their simple lives and desire for it myself.

Faders in the Night...

We broke apart the night, your breath still coated the window, your lips still made a mark. I didn’t mean to listen in, empty words dripped from the corners of your mouth, the snow told me your secret, all our sentences left unsaid. The sunset kissed the tip of the horizon one last time, the moon lay in the arms of the sky forever. All the things I liked were taken from me in the night. Even though we lay together, I knew I would never meet you. Promises broke between us lining the Earth with thin air. We were fading, the dark was so bright it hurt my eyes. Take me back to the edge of the world so you might see me falling.

A Moment with Strangers...

The cool winter fell against me, I could feel it in my thoughts. My dreams opened a window of life that spilled onto the pages of reality. 
I waited in the park for the sun to fall between the buildings, office lights were still turned on. People milled around accidentally a part of moments that weren't theirs.
But then all at once no one was a stranger. Everyone looked up as the dim sun that gave us life, said hello to another day and goodbye to another night.

Another Version of Perfect...

We fell from heights unknown, like feathers to the ground our eyes still closed from birth, the nooks behind our ears still wet. Dust settled, the concrete held our form. We would walk, talk and play, but we still didn’t know our names and would drown if put near water. We stand closely so we don’t forget what it’s like to be in this boat, no compass, no map, just a hand to hold.  Our eyes eventually open, but then we can’t hear the day, everything flows past us, no one has anything to say.  We scream and yell, but no sound is made, with only our memories to hold the love of words, slowly drifting away. When we get back to the shore the sun hurts our eyes, we forget what it's like to whisper inside a moment that’s passing us by. Our fingers old and wrinkled, our minds dull but full. 

Fear doesn’t touch us here because we know, it’s time to go back home. 

Thin Air...

Water settled in the corner of my eye. The sun shone hot on my face wondering when it would fall.
I could run as far as forever here and still be surrounded by beauty, perhaps it was in my mind.
I stepped sideways between breaths, visible in the cool morning air and knew I could stay here until I died, standing on the banks of this river, near a waterfall that would never say goodbye.

Bearing witness to such raw nature is confronting. In the short term because it takes your breath away and later on because it makes you question everything.

The tear finally fell, my cheek kissed by the cold in the breeze. It wasn't in my mind, everything was right here. I stayed.

Rose blades cut the night in two, the second day felt like the first. Thin air rested in my lungs.

Folds of Tomorrow...

Let me take photos of your life, where each moment is a memory, preserved behind this glass lens.
Disappear with me into the folds of tomorrow, where the blanket that has fallen to your legs is lifted to cover your shoulders.
Taste this sweet air passing over my tongue, flecks of snow falling lightly from a single cloud on a summers day.
Let my shadow keep me company as I wait in our bedroom for your footsteps in the hall.
Where each passing glance is a whisper, old music plays on in my mind.
We decorate our Christmas tree with buttons, as echos in the valley call our name.

I've never had to wait for you to love me.
What a beautiful thing to say.

Two Hearts...

My heart beat fast, my breath was shallow, my mind was full. Memories walked past me, my life like a movie, nothing slowed down.

You hear so much more when you listen, you feel so much more when you're still. 

Why do the birds walk on the path when they can fly? To find things to build their nest.

How are you a stranger to me when we both have life? My heart looks like yours, only our minds are different. 

You're beautiful without even realising it.

The sun plays hide and seek with the Earth, slipping behind a cloud casting us all in shadows. I shiver back to reality, sitting alone on a park bench, your last words a faint whisper.

We Lived Here Once...

Feathers fell in the dark making no sound. You could be anyone here and the rain would never wash you away. The breeze echoed in the silent streets as she recited Bible verses on the train, holding my arm to steady herself when we were jolted.

The comfort of the streets, the pattern of life weaving through the cobbled lanes, creeping through my window and watching me rest. Breath fills my lungs and I have life. My apartment tells me a bedtime story. I fall asleep before night arrives but my eyes wake before day breaks.

My vacant heart waiting for your breath against my lips. Not everything in camouflage is unseen.

A Mistake, Almost Made...

-->

I lost my mind, I though I saw it the other night crossing the street in midtown, but it wasn’t my mind, it was a fallen star trying to find its way back to the sky. My heart stained my sleeve red and now everyone knows the colour of our love. 

The streets told me a story as I walked to the train, my coat trailed in the snow, my fingerprints left marks in the air as I waved goodbye. Right before I left, New York told me it loved me, I still walked away with its hand on my shoulder. My hair fell from its ribbon tickling my neck, and making me turn around. The flashes of cameras at Grand Central made me feel like a celebrity, the nice kind, then my feet were fixed in place. 

I ran past the clock, up the stairs and out onto 42^nd street, I touched the air with my hands and let the sun, breaking through the clouds kiss my lips. The last autumn leaf fell from a tree and rested in the footprint I'd left walking in, a perfect memory of a mistake, almost made. 

Shadows Fall...

A perfect moment between two strangers. I fell in love twice in a single breath. 

We live in constant shadows. 

Something alive and simple, something most spectacular. Forget the evening, forget your tears and the clouds with their empty promises of rain. Remember the stars, the blur of the flower as it swayed in the breeze, his kiss against your neck. 

Don't fret about tomorrow and the long days that never pass. Something waits around the corner for you. We all go home eventually.

Can We Share A Memory...

Those who don't feel at home never unpack their bags, no matter how long they call a city their base. We first met at an airport, that's where I first saw your face, but that didn't matter anymore because now you're everywhere. 

My favourite place in the world is Grand Central Station, New York, simply because it reminds me of an airport and that reminds me of you. It's filled up with all the emotions of the Earth and all the people in it. Over a million of us pass through there each day but the sounds bouncing off the walls are not of noise, it's not even loud in there. It's something else entirely.

The hush of shuffling feet, reluctant to take a journey. The sound of lips brushing together as two lovers say goodbye. The sound of a long embrace between an old pair, afraid it may be their last. 

A kiss on the forehead, his gentle hands cupping her face. The camera snaps of visitors desperate to catch a moment. 

A glance at a stranger, one second to fall in love.  

The sound of wonder in its windows, ceiling and floor. Echos down the corridors. Minds thinking, will she still be waiting when I return? Should I have held his hand for longer? If I wasn't in a rush would she let me have her number? Would I even ask? 

Is this our last moment?

Soft sobbing, the excitement of going home, a fear that things have changed. 

What do emotions sound like? 

He puts his hands in his pockets, she fixes her handbag to her shoulder. Her hair brushing her neck as she turns back for one last glance. But his head is down. 

They part without saying a word. 

The click of her heels in the distance, a deafening reminder of her beauty in such a quiet place.

Distant Rain...

The whitewash took me back, all my strength was gone. The cool winter air cursed through my body like wildfire, the addiction of life made me free.

He put his mouth to mine after a long time of absence. We gave and stole each others breath simultaneously. I couldn't stop. He's the ending to my dream, my bed time story.

We will be young forever.

Eyes Wide Shut...

The crisp whisper of night, the dark day that follows morning, backgrounds are out of place.

Wandering through I look at the world with beauty, it looks at me in despair. Somewhere it lost its meaning and sits lonely waiting for a prayer. 

I found a few lost dreams and put them in a bag. I left them on the bench for you, all you have to do is open your eyes.

Shades of Fear..

Dreaming in French, shades of purple are deeper. The leaves follow a different pattern on the ground.

Softness is a feeling, a texture, an action enclosing your words. Tomorrows kiss is in your eyes, a lifetime of love is in your heart.

My lips hold small cuts from kissing the pages and inhaling the words. My breath makes them damp, sometimes they stick together. I love only one thing more than this, but nothing keeps me still. 

The shadows of night propel me further into a space that is not my own. 

The only thing that scares me is that my tears may one day fall on blank pages.

Empty Sky...

The sound of the rushing water reminded me of falling, it wasn’t as peaceful as they had said. 

An event is just a memory once it is over and even after everything settles and you’re standing in the same place reality fails to intervene. I guess it’s our mind, we’ll have the few odd tears but they won’t burn our cheeks like they did on that day. The taste of sick at the back of our throat will return only when we scream loud enough or witness something worse, which may be never again. 

The scent of the air has returned to normal, the melted glass was cleared from the sidewalk long ago but their ashes remain. Small specks of their blood that rained on the buildings are still there even if we can’t see them, and we walk through. My heart is coated with a breath of silence to never say what we felt that night, to wake up in a world like this the next morning; I’ve lived in a dream since that flight.

Falling...

I fell through a dream and ended up here. Rain settled in cracks between the pavement, I wondered how it held so much weight but never buckled. I realised I had lived in a picture and this wasn’t my home. The night’s eye divided the river in two, separated by bridges and boats bobbing in the distance. A full moon stopped the sky from falling, after a long day of protecting the earth. Later on the stars stole my thoughts as I carried the clouds home in my rucksack, missing the voice inside. The echo of waves in the corridors of my mind told me to breathe.

The next day felt different, the window was warm from the inside my hand caressed it gently. The sun marked a light on the path for me to follow, only the leaves on my favourite tree knew what to say. I held his heart in my hand as he read my dreams. We were each other’s soft landing. I kept walking forwards and ended up right next to you.

Awake and Dreaming...

As everything fell in place all I wanted was a happy ending. My mind skipped a page and I took my time making sense of the story, but here I am now at your place, a door separates our forms. 

My mind is weak from thought, could it manage one more puzzle?

Snow blanketed my shadow snatching its dark life away. My heart beat in phrases to a song that was once my favourite. 

I waited for a movement, a footstep, a breath. My gloved hand touched your door, then moved aside to the glass pane, tapping twice. Some sick feeling told me you wouldn't answer. A quiver ran through me. 

The plants outside slumped as their leaves carried snow, its delicate form a heavy weight, but when it melted it gave them life. 

Beauty hid in corners and in plain sight.

I woke from a dream, never realising the ending.

The Sky is on Fire...

The day left swiftly when it knew we wanted to be alone, slipping sideways into an approaching shadow in the space of half a breath. Night-time cooled our skin, we were each others blanket. Dew waited on the grass for morning, stars reflected in its eyes.

Distance was obsolete as we shared the same air. I still felt your hand in mine, the scent of your hair on the breeze. Our kiss was a passing moment wrapped up in all the hours of time. Our memories live forever in all four corners of my mind.

Waiting In Line...

The sky seems so close when you lay down and gaze at it, but you still can't think of where it ends.

You close your eyes and listen to the birds inviting their friends over for dinner, others call back from a distance, you wonder what they're saying.

Life is framed by tragedy but there is so much happiness hidden in simple things.

"I love you tonight" Ten years ago you said those words and you still loved her now.

The pages were frayed at the edges and the paper had turned yellow but your pen still married it perfectly. Something about this calmed you, it always had. You always wrote when you were waiting for her. 

The winter invited itself into your room without a conversation, kissing you gently on the arm. It was as if it knew and was trying to comfort you in anticipation for what you would learn later on. Preparing you for the chill you would feel for the rest of your life.

Audio accompaniment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqoANESQ4cQ&feature=related

Five Seconds...

This is just a moment in time, step aside and let it happen.

Her movements were slow, a steady breeze over a puddle. She was only ever half there, a wish without a star, my dream without an ending. She never knew I'd remember her forever, I never said a word.

We waited at the bus stop together, the rain falling in sheets. Strangers in the park shared a single umbrella. I knew we'd met by chance. 

The last time we spoke was ordinary, our conversation insignificant. You were wearing a jumper frayed at the edges. I walked you to your car. Your hair fell against my shoulder as we hugged, I meant to tell you, you were beautiful.

You would go home and so would I. A week later I thought about you again, though we weren't in the same place. I stood in a garden-bed staring at your vacant parking space. A stranger offered me shelter from the rain.

Last Sunday you were murdered by someone who didn't know your name. Who didn't know you'd planned to be so much more. 

I thought about you a week later and all the days in-between. The rain fell in sheets.

Nothing's Perfect...

.. Except us.

My past held me softly in place, the echo of the future pushed me on. The path I had walked left heavy gashes in the Earth's skin, some down to the bone. Now I tread lightly, my soft trail a broken whisper. The lights were on in expectance of the night, but darkness never fell. Dream-time cast a shadow over my mind and I slipped carelessly into The Beyond. 

A starless sky swept me into its arms, now the cities were my sky. The yellow glow from office buildings and path lamps, the stars I would wish upon. All the noise of the day had come to an end, the sky held me lower so I could hear the Earth breathing. It barely made a sound.

As everything fell away I realised why I was there, to never know anything and to always hope for more.

 

Youthful Haze...

The night watched over us. We inhaled the same air and blew out a single breath.

When we met he kept his hands in his pockets. Later I found out he was holding pennies, he said it calmed his nerves. Life had us walking in the same circles until he clumsily tripped, now our hearts beat together and our lips met every day more than once. A picture frame on his desk froze us in a youthful haze. We once were strangers.

 

Last Heroes...

I looked at the sky, we could be anywhere in the world. The stars I see now aren't even there anymore.

We're the last heroes?

It disturbed her to see him weak, it disturbed him more so.

"I was there from the start, just a boy"

I knew that everything he told me was truth, I never forgot one word.

Soft clouds swept over the sky hiding the dull stars momentarily, the bright ones shone through. I'd forgotten the romance of a whisper, the comfort of his words, the night reminded me.

"I had you from the start" 

The Earth was silent, everything around us fell away. We were imprinted by a sentence that held the innocence of a child and the knowledge of a man who knew what it was to be alone. To me, he'd always been so strong, now I knew all of him. 

I never believed in accidents. I always thought they made things full of importance seem meaningless. The importance of us bumping into each other, all the 'accidents' leading to when we first met. If I'd stepped to the right, was five minutes late, may I have married a complete stranger instead of you? If I could be this happy with anyone would he still take me here, kiss me hard and touch me softly. 

To feel my blood rushing under my skin, our hearts beating the same rhythm.

Never.

God made us in pairs.

Dust..

The panic of loss, the seduction of a whisper.

Lay here with me still, for all we are is dust.

How dust can love so brilliantly, have dreams so astounding, hope to be much more than what it is.

Because we know amazement and the most common hope among men is the wish to be remarkable. 

To Be Continued...

Human beings are beautiful, beautiful tragedies.

In the wake of a new day I looked over his body. The sun light scared his skin golden and orange where it once was pale. All the colours of dusk. The warmth made him turn over, retreating into the shadows of my bookshelves. 

On the morning train a child that couldn't see or speak, that was in a wheelchair smiled in the direction of a baby's laughter. I looked up from my book and at the baby, thankful that I could see its sparkling eyes matching the emotions of its turned up lips.

Happiness hid in its dimples, what a beautiful thing to see.

The mother of the child in the wheelchair also looked at the baby, then looked at her baby. I kept reading.

Life in not the way that it seems at first, nor how it appears later on when we think we know the goings on of the world. All I can hope is that I leave this place knowing one thing for sure....

Perfect Cloud...

Blue was my favourite colour, because that was the colour of his eyes when he saved me. 

We were so young. 

When I left my house the sky was still dark, the Earth hadn't fully awoken from dreams of the night before, little yellow dots in the distance, headlights that resembled fireflies hiding from the breaking day. When the sun emerged from the clouds the sky split open, sharing life with the Earth.

That day it was sunny and snowing at the same time. I didn't pause to notice, like an adult with somewhere to be.

The shots rang out, piercing raindrops on their way to meet flesh. My ears blistered, prickling from shock. My play list of a new day didn't sound like this.

Moments pieced together by seconds were fracturing all around and although there was chaos, the Earth was still. Two minutes felt like my short life, that only took a fraction of a second to pass before my eyes. Green.

The night before I innocently sketched some writing on the back of an envelope, it played over in my mind.

"The breeze sees and hears everything but never says a word, the rain makes love to the Earth in winter, baby flowers grow, the sky is a blanket God wrapped around the world, your heart is a place that never grows old" 

It then became all that I could hear, my heart calmed, slowing to a trickle as spots of others blood stained my cheeks and hair. 

Everything since I was born had built up to this. Even before I was born, when I was just an idea, this plan waited for me, vacant and all assuming. 

When all the sounds went away everything was more clear, all the details fell together like a puzzle. I could almost guess what would happen next, we're all very predictable, you know.

Sounds rushed back when he stepped against me. His cotton shirt brushed my neck, a pocket button caught in my hair as he lifted me up. His arm was soft, burn scars took away the texture where I rested my small hand. He carried me effortlessly, I felt the warmth of his chest against my back. His heart beat fast, the knife he held cut into me, but I didn't cry out, I was quiet.

His button kept some of my hair as he stumbled, but it didn't hurt, you know. Slow motion was my favourite part, it calmed the moment down when all control fell away.

Her perfume was on the breeze. 

I still had powdered sugar on my lip from the doughnut I was eating. If this was my last day ever, I was satisfied that jam was still sticky on my tongue as we both fell to the ground.

The snow wasn't even cold, it rested softly on my eyelashes as my cheek found home on its body. We both imprinted it, I remember thinking it would never be the same again.

My warm blood made a river, melting the white dust red. Your boots crunched the snow as you came toward me. 

You put your jacket over me, either so I couldn't see the knife or so you couldn't. Turing me around, you held me off the ground. 

"You know what? I've been waiting for you"

Your eyes were blue like the ocean, dark blue just like that. You lent toward me, whispering over my fringe. 

"You have to stay"

Everything went warm and all thoughts faded to blue.

I never saw you again, but I woke up wearing your jacket. 

Back at the beginning my mum and dad were forever trying to convince me to throw away my soft toys. 

"You're too old for them now" mum would say.

After wards they never spoke on it again. The day I left the hospital I gave them all away.

I kept my strangers coat, mum let me sleep with his clothes wrapped around me.

That night I looked to the sky as a perfect cloud drifted past.

Fireflies...

The winter kissed me blissfully, all the clouds came at once. 

My lamp glowed in the corner attracting little flying insects that hadn't seen sunlight for days. I felt their happiness as they flew towards the artificial stars, in love with the yellow warmth that burnt them each time they touched.

Everything settled down at night, I could see the Earth falling asleep out of the corner of my eye, as boys in cars raced each other on streets in the background. Warm milk coated my throat reminding me of when I was young, it didn't help me sleep anymore but something about the way the cup felt in my hands and how smooth it was as it touched my lips, soothed me. 

The cold air trickled through my window without pausing, just like rain in Vancouver.

I could never dream at night, perhaps because I spent the day dreaming.

I sent you a card, it must have been lost in the post, maybe it was delivered to someone else.

He cut out a piece of his life and let me hold it for the shortest time. We stood closely, loved deeply and were left heartless when it was over.

We Are Birds...

I was here before, the Earth built around me. It fell down the same way.

Twilight settled in the corners of my mind. The next day, under sleep, the dawn waited to greet me.

If you're in the water too long your hands give you a glimpse of age, all you hope is that your thoughts will still be with you when that time comes. 

That night the ocean took me back, there were no gaps between my skin and its body, we were as close as we could be. 

If everything left, the Earth would still be with me, memories of our nights together could never be erased. 

Even if your mind runs vacant you still remember what it's like to touch and if your memory fails you, I'll let you hold my hand again.

So, on this road there was no path. The rain filled up my footprints, but you could still see where I was walking because you were right behind. 

The ground was kind to me, it let me walk where I wished. The fields showed me love, kissing my legs with their reeds. I was in every moment, the world had its arm around me and life was my best friend.

So, I'll close my eyes right here, even though it's hard to leave such beauty and I'll dream that you're close enough for me to touch your face and remember what it's like to kiss you.

(sequel to All But One..)
  

All But One...

I held her hand.

My words made strangers weep, but those closest didn't flinch. I didn't wonder why, the clouds told me better stories. 

The snow said you were looking for me so I waited in the park all day, you weren't there but I could feel you all around, in everything.

The walk back was long, my calves started to cramp, the wind pushed me closer and when I finally touched the door it hugged me back, warm like home. Stars watched me undress through open blinds, as the colours of twilight still lingered in the sky, an unfinished story. I lay down and waited for my mind to wander, it took but an hour for me to fall happily into our world.

Droplets of pure beauty hurt my eyes. The warm rain kissed me all over, grass up to my knees was soft like a blanket. My mind was free here, my thoughts couldn't hurt me.

I saw you across the lake bathing in moonlight, before you started to walk over I was already there, crushing the space between us. As our lips met we became a part of each other, making each half of our world real.

The air was sweet to breathe, the breeze didn't wait long to hug me, we'd barely met. 

The sky was always star-y, even in daylight and the moon never left us in the dark. Lone trees didn't cry over empty forests because know one took them away.

You had everything you needed, a Shepard, a priest, a warrior and a dream.    

I Am Yours...

In my mind we're married, we've been that way our whole lives. We're retired sitting on a swing chair, your hair still smells the same. 

With everything together, you and I were a story. I already knew the ending and hugged it close before we met. You are the pages, I am the words. 

I could be happy just like this, did that make me a simple person? Yes maybe it did, but I didn't mind, I had always seen life as a circle.

It Survived, Even When it Thought Know One was Watching..

It creeped through a crack and grew under light, hugging a fallen fence that had long been forgotten. Watching over me as I slept, even though we had never met. Drinking from the rain, waiting in the shadows, framed by a window, growing free and unrestricted in the palm of his hand.

Finding beauty in nothing, means everything.

River in a Dream..

The dusk didn't leave us, it waited for you to come.

She was holding an apple, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The thick atmosphere played with the ribbons in her hair, they were a part of each other without understanding how or why.

We danced.

A river of clouds ran through the sky, we could feel the ripples in the breeze but the drops didn't touch us. Waiting for the word. Twilight kissed my eyes with lips of crimson and purple.

You're on the tip of my tongue, in the back of my heart.

Forever.

The Dream Comes After That..

A ripe apple fell of the tree we planted and I knew that it was time to leave home. The nest was warm and I was still a little shaky with my wings, but I knew I wouldn't fall. 

She whispered and it was there, all the happiness of yesterday came rushing back, almost knocking me off my feet. 

He watched me get dressed, everything I put on, he took off. My perfume floated through the air, finding a home on my neck then nestling behind my ear.

I was on his lips for days.

Deep breath twice..

Lately you've been in my dreams, the scent of freshly cut grass reminds me I'm surrounded by life, even as I fall asleep in a concrete jungle. My window is open. I know you're outside on my stoop smoking a cigarette, but I can't smell the smoke anymore and I can't feel the fire.

My ring doesn't fit when it's winter, I leave it on my dresser when I go to work, wanting to see it again is all that gets me home safe.

Life isn't enough for me now because I used to have you. Being in love is like floating, if you're unlucky enough to see it end, you have to learn to walk.

There's a spider in my room that bites me every night, we're friends though, it knows that I will never harm it.

I love him, so what does it matter where we lay.

Everything ends on a whisper, but we left this world on a glance. Torn apart by impending shadows, forever separated by our dreams.

I'm not sure how it ends, know one does, but one. I do know something though, this isn't a rehearsal.

You're Not my Person But You're Soft to Touch..

It was new, that made me like it less, but everything is new at one point. 

Her hands made a perfect pattern on the window, the cold outside held it for a moment before the inside snatched it away, no longer proof of life. Even though everything was chaos she was as elegant as a breeze. She held up the corner of her dress so it wouldn't disturb the snow as she descended the stairs to meet him. They stood apart from each other, as if unsure how to behave in what they thought was a dream. 

"We're only sleepwalkers" she said. He held her until she couldn't cry anymore. 

From that morning they were awake, they knew the horrible truths that the world hid behind the sky's grey clouds and the ones that stood in plain sight before them. It made her love him more, she didn't know if that was wrong, she didn't care. 

You've changed the setting, we're still the same.

The sky was different, it struggled to carry the weight of the scars it held. The buildings sometimes helped but never got too close, afraid of what might be waiting. 

It made her seem more delicate, he was without a doubt. Before, you knew what was real and what wasn't, now you weren't so sure.

You never trusted calm waters again.

He wondered if the heavens would believe it, if he could talk to someone who had only lived before, what they might say?

Afterwards, people lived in their own minds more than before. I don't think there was a way around it. Some said there was more to lose now, but I think we were just more aware of what could be taken from us.

She took the train down town, even though the smoke had cleared it still hurt her eyes. It took her three hours to take two steps towards them. He was a stranger but he watched her the whole time.

Everything moved around her, but she was still, he was still. He stood next to her and although both of them were staring, neither of them looked, like a painful game of hide and seek in which the players were unsure of who was to hide and who was to seek.

The stars held up a black velvet sky as he let his hand fall to meet hers. She exhaled a light cloud that hung in the cool air for a moment, before the wind carried it away. She reached out squeezing his two end fingers affectionately and in that space, she closed her eyes and they met for the first time.

They stood in silence as leaves coated the streets in the background. Words were overrated, they both knew that, so neither spoke, the moment said everything.

"I was waiting for someone else" she finally whispered.

He looked at her, "So was I".

The Thin Line..

She held the clouds tears in her hands, they barely made a sound. She couldn't hold them all though, the free ones dripped through her fingers making strange puddles on the ground, one looked like a bear, she smiled.

His lips where her favourite part, she kissed him slowly, in her mind, because he wasn't there to touch. Sometimes I close my eyes to feel more. The sun wraps me up in a blanket, the breeze takes off my coat, the rain likes my fringe streaked across my face and each passing mind gives me a whisper.

The world is soft to hold when you take away distraction, it's not as scary as it is when you're a child with eyes wide open. The edges of things aren't as sharp, but all you have is imagined beauty that you can't ever be sure is real. Until a stranger helps you find the elevator, or you sense someone's arms around you as a rail when you're jolted on a train. You breathe in, restored faith and you're back to your beginning.

Fear for the future is there, always. Hope for tomorrow is collected today.

Out of Sight, Still in Mind..

I couldn't wait to be whole again, the sunset beckoned me, the Earth wanted to take me back. I just kept running. 

Destined to be what? You never really know and destiny, such a funny word and perhaps a poor choice for a name. But so true, why else would you choose one path specifically, out of the several presented to you? You run from something long enough, you'll eventually run into it again and if you don't run enough you'll get fat and it won't want to take you back.

So perhaps after this I will walk my path, or run down it, in my usual style and then, when I meet you at the end, proud, I'll have something to say.

Now two of my favourite quotes, that sort of fit with my minds latest babble:

"Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet."

"The human race is so puny compared to the universe that being disabled is not of much cosmic significance." 

-Professor Steven Hawking

How We Made Love..

He loved to watch her. In her manic moments she was like a plane rushing through a cloud, from the ground it looks so delicate but really it's going too fast. The sound of her biting her nails put him on edge, but she only did that when she was nervous, so at least they were on the same page. 

He loved being next to her, everything was beautiful. Her eyelashes fluttered as the breeze picked up snow flurries from window sills and the ledges of buildings. 

She was soft to touch. Everything upset her. 

New York was her favourite place to be, the busyness soothed her mind. She knew people just through looking at them. "They were married young, but they love each other". All of it was important to her, she cared about so much.

They told us everything was like paper to them and they just wanted to tell their story. She loved that, so she started scratching her favourite words into the back of train seats on the way home. People saw, but we didn't care.

"I want you to come everywhere with me".

"I will".

Listen..

I knew what to write, before it was in my mind it was on my lips. Like a raging river, nothing could calm me.

If I Don't Take This Photograph People Like my Mom Will Think War is What They See on TV - Kenneth Jarecke

I didn’t know I was awake, that’s what made me fearless.

I never left her side.

It hung loosely around my neck, like my protector. Looking through this window made everything seem like a dream, but the dust in my eyes told me it wasn’t. You don’t feel the details of a dream like that. I didn’t have time to check it.

The sands of these lands were heavy with all the lives they held, one of them his. I couldn’t forget the way he fell, it was in my mind and also in my hand. He took his last breath before he hit the ground. He was still alive when the shutter clicked. The sun shone on his wedding ring before the blood had a chance to run down his arm. He was still alive in my picture, still but alive. It felt distant, even though I was up close.

The sun left us alone as clouds framed hills in the background, the moon a night-light that watched everything with sorrow. It never rained here nothing could be washed away.

The vest was uncomfortable to sleep in, but you never knew when you would have to move. I didn’t like wearing it and wouldn’t if I had the choice. I took it off once and the others thought it was some sort of statement about who was stronger. I slipped back into it to ease their egos rather than my mind.

I’d been shot twice before. You don’t really fear anything anymore when you know what it feels like, or what it looks like. I wonder if they knew that?

Many questioned the humanity of what I did, but that was only because they weren’t used to sitting with such intense feelings, ones that I felt every day.

Show me the truth so I might change my path. 
Everyone always says they want the truth and liars in our world are looked upon with such disdain, but they don’t know that a lot of the time they can’t deal with it, by then they’re already too damaged to feel like that again.

Even though this was like another world, I felt at home. I was more like these people than the one I shared my bed with, because they wanted to know, they held their feeling, moved on and felt regret when they became used to it. At least I was more removed behind this lens, or at least it felt like that, but then when I was back home I knew I wasn’t, as tears of guilt stained my face and the basin ran red from the blood on my camera strap.

 Photojournalism complies with a rigid ethical framework which demands that the work is both honest and impartial whilst telling the story in strictly journalistic terms.