For Lovers Only

For Lovers Only

Friday 27 April 2012

Last Heroes...

I looked at the sky, we could be anywhere in the world. The stars I see now aren't even there anymore.

We're the last heroes?

It disturbed her to see him weak, it disturbed him more so.
"I was there from the start, just a boy"
I knew that everything he told me was truth, I never forgot one word.
Soft clouds swept over the sky hiding the dull stars momentarily, the bright ones shone through. I'd forgotten the romance of a whisper, the comfort of his words, the night reminded me.

"I had you from the start" 

The Earth was silent, everything around us fell away. We were imprinted by a sentence that held the innocence of a child and the knowledge of a man who knew what it was to be alone. To me, he'd always been so strong, now I knew all of him. 
I never believed in accidents. I always thought they made things full of importance seem meaningless. The importance of us bumping into each other, all the 'accidents' leading to when we first met. If I'd stepped to the right, was five minutes late, may I have married a complete stranger instead of you? If I could be this happy with anyone would he still take me here, kiss me hard and touch me softly. 
To feel my blood rushing under my skin, our hearts beating the same rhythm.

Never.
God made us in pairs.

Sunday 22 April 2012

Dust..

The panic of loss, the seduction of a whisper.
Lay here with me still, for all we are is dust.
How dust can love so brilliantly, have dreams so astounding, hope to be much more than what it is.
Because we know amazement and the most common hope among men is the wish to be remarkable. 

Wednesday 11 April 2012

To Be Continued...

Human beings are beautiful, beautiful tragedies.

In the wake of a new day I looked over his body. The sun light scared his skin golden and orange where it once was pale. All the colours of dusk. The warmth made him turn over, retreating into the shadows of my bookshelves. 

On the morning train a child that couldn't see or speak, that was in a wheelchair smiled in the direction of a baby's laughter. I looked up from my book and at the baby, thankful that I could see its sparkling eyes matching the emotions of its turned up lips.
Happiness hid in its dimples, what a beautiful thing to see.
The mother of the child in the wheelchair also looked at the baby, then looked at her baby. I kept reading.

Life in not the way that it seems at first, nor how it appears later on when we think we know the goings on of the world. All I can hope is that I leave this place knowing one thing for sure....

Tuesday 10 April 2012

Perfect Cloud...

Blue was my favourite colour, because that was the colour of his eyes when he saved me. 
We were so young. 

When I left my house the sky was still dark, the Earth hadn't fully awoken from dreams of the night before, little yellow dots in the distance, headlights that resembled fireflies hiding from the breaking day. When the sun emerged from the clouds the sky split open, sharing life with the Earth.
That day it was sunny and snowing at the same time. I didn't pause to notice, like an adult with somewhere to be.

The shots rang out, piercing raindrops on their way to meet flesh. My ears blistered, prickling from shock. My play list of a new day didn't sound like this.
Moments pieced together by seconds were fracturing all around and although there was chaos, the Earth was still. Two minutes felt like my short life, that only took a fraction of a second to pass before my eyes. Green.
The night before I innocently sketched some writing on the back of an envelope, it played over in my mind.
"The breeze sees and hears everything but never says a word, the rain makes love to the Earth in winter, baby flowers grow, the sky is a blanket God wrapped around the world, your heart is a place that never grows old" 
It then became all that I could hear, my heart calmed, slowing to a trickle as spots of others blood stained my cheeks and hair. 
Everything since I was born had built up to this. Even before I was born, when I was just an idea, this plan waited for me, vacant and all assuming. 
When all the sounds went away everything was more clear, all the details fell together like a puzzle. I could almost guess what would happen next, we're all very predictable, you know.

Sounds rushed back when he stepped against me. His cotton shirt brushed my neck, a pocket button caught in my hair as he lifted me up. His arm was soft, burn scars took away the texture where I rested my small hand. He carried me effortlessly, I felt the warmth of his chest against my back. His heart beat fast, the knife he held cut into me, but I didn't cry out, I was quiet.
His button kept some of my hair as he stumbled, but it didn't hurt, you know. Slow motion was my favourite part, it calmed the moment down when all control fell away.

Her perfume was on the breeze. 

I still had powdered sugar on my lip from the doughnut I was eating. If this was my last day ever, I was satisfied that jam was still sticky on my tongue as we both fell to the ground.
The snow wasn't even cold, it rested softly on my eyelashes as my cheek found home on its body. We both imprinted it, I remember thinking it would never be the same again.
My warm blood made a river, melting the white dust red. Your boots crunched the snow as you came toward me. 
You put your jacket over me, either so I couldn't see the knife or so you couldn't. Turing me around, you held me off the ground. 
"You know what? I've been waiting for you"
Your eyes were blue like the ocean, dark blue just like that. You lent toward me, whispering over my fringe. 
"You have to stay"
Everything went warm and all thoughts faded to blue.

I never saw you again, but I woke up wearing your jacket. 

Back at the beginning my mum and dad were forever trying to convince me to throw away my soft toys. 
"You're too old for them now" mum would say.
After wards they never spoke on it again. The day I left the hospital I gave them all away.
I kept my strangers coat, mum let me sleep with his clothes wrapped around me.

That night I looked to the sky as a perfect cloud drifted past.

Sunday 1 April 2012

Fireflies...

The winter kissed me blissfully, all the clouds came at once. 
My lamp glowed in the corner attracting little flying insects that hadn't seen sunlight for days. I felt their happiness as they flew towards the artificial stars, in love with the yellow warmth that burnt them each time they touched.
Everything settled down at night, I could see the Earth falling asleep out of the corner of my eye, as boys in cars raced each other on streets in the background. Warm milk coated my throat reminding me of when I was young, it didn't help me sleep anymore but something about the way the cup felt in my hands and how smooth it was as it touched my lips, soothed me. 
The cold air trickled through my window without pausing, just like rain in Vancouver.
I could never dream at night, perhaps because I spent the day dreaming.
I sent you a card, it must have been lost in the post, maybe it was delivered to someone else.

He cut out a piece of his life and let me hold it for the shortest time. We stood closely, loved deeply and were left heartless when it was over.