I thought I Was Alone, But Maybe I'm not...

My heart is made of paper, 

these words the pen. 

I fall before I wake.

In love with you again.

When I look to the night sky for answers,

in the stars I see your eyes 

and in the clouds I see your heart.

The pain that left me breathless,

no longer flowing through my veins. 

We're so much happier now, than we've ever been.

There's hope in our hearts and breath in our lungs,

and all that's beautiful before us. 

Simple Life...

Houses, cars, possessions...
Sometimes you just don't want what everyone else wants.

Hamelin Bay

At Peace

Margaret River jeweles 

Surfers Point

Besties

As all the world waited for us to come out and play,
we spent another 15 minutes dreaming of a place we'd rather be.

New York Dreaming...

As the night closes, her day begins.
When you're simple, you're unburdened.
But when you feel everything the night is long.
Responsibility lurks in the shadows of the day,
and some things make you breathless,
like the scent of that old flower shop in Grand Central,
the one that makes the whole of Lexington smell like Spring.
A smile as the memory brushes against you.
Then a velvet cloak is pulled across the sky as eyes become windows to the past,
and you're back there again, soaking up the moment.
You wake to see the day, remembering that lace handkerchief you forgot on the train, it had absorbed so many of your tears, perhaps it was time to give it away.

As your pen scratches across this page,
and the final story of your book is done.
You look out your window towards the ocean,
and realise your next dream starts at one. 

36 Degrees...

#Jacob'sLadderx10 #BellvueRuns #KingsPark 

Lucid....

If I could dream, any dream
it would be that I was there with you,
even if it meant leaving here.
I've missed you everyday,
since that night you left when I was sixteen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU0PYcCsL6o

Atlanta...

That way the sun rolls over the hill to greet the morning.
That feeling that really, the world is so very small.
I'm on that midnight plane,
so restless like the air is thin and I can't get a full breath.
A million things run through my head,
least of all and most of all you.
I know the shape of your lips in the evening,
and when you go to bed.
Your stride when I race you to the swings,
slightly smaller to let me win.
The way your hair used to look when you rolled out of bed,
how your favourite colour changes from, in Winter blue, to in Autumn red.
I remember the touch of your hand on the small of my back,
our intertwined fingers in the back of the cab.
All of the city watching two people so in love,
The whole world waiting
as though it was meant to be just us.

That time we lay on the road to watch the stars,
I left with a leaf in my hair and love in my heart.
I never told you once, how I really felt.
My wall so high,
you needed to learn to fly.
But there wasn't enough time,
for us to really grow.
Now the seasons have changed,
our memories covered by the snow.

Everything's a Dream...

I visited Peachtree street in the dead of night,
my life held in the hands of the moon,
all the stars by my side.
I feel so balanced as I float through the sky.

Sneaking away to nature,
I feel his hand touching mine.
I wait for his words because I never talk first.
He says I'm in his future and when I'm with him nothing hurts.
I take a step back to check that he's real.
The world stands in the shadows before it starts to peek through.

There's nothing left to wonder about,
I can see all of life up close.
Then all of a sudden I drift out of the dream
all things fading,
but he cuts the most. 

Day one...

See with new eyes,
because sometimes the wrong choices lead you to the right place. 

Gold Soul Theory...

Free thought isn't common any more.
Everyone's in the game.
You can blame and pretend,
stay stuck in a box.
But I'm breaking out and then hiding every lock.  

Poems for Strangers...

New Project- Dead Leaf Society, coming soon.. ^.^

Then all of a sudden...

...my next hiking adventure is booked ^.^

Us From Before...

I can see the tunnel at the end of the light,
a pocket full of posies by my side.
Though I can't escape from the nightmare behind my eyes,
the ocean carries the weight of lost love out in the tide.

Birds fly above me drowning the world in song,
for years I carried him next to me even though he was gone.
Now that I'm out of the dark,
I can see the light.
That I'll never be over him no matter how hard I try.

A whisper "it was never about that",
as God walks by my side.
Others say to move on,
but where is my love for him supposed to hide.

I see those around me bitter,
settling for situations that aren't the best.
I'd prefer to run away now,
before I'm swallowed up again.

The birds fly home in pairs,
but I'd prefer to be alone.
It has to be magic for me,
I won't settle for just close.

I remember thinking the first night we met,
yesterday you were a stranger,
tonight you are my world.
And he was for seven years.

Though I chose to end it,
he showed me what it was to love.
And knowing I've only ever been with him,
means every second is a minute,
and every hour's infinite.



My ocean rolls over me
and I can feel my life once again,
it holds me like he used to.
In my dreams we're close 'till the end.

I can feel all the weight of the silent days to come.
My soul is more still than I can ever remember.
The world starts at one.

#Joy&B all those years, this image, us, so simple

It Was All a Dream...

They came in the night..

..and found us dreaming

..two moments passed, then he whispered...

.."out of suffering emerge the strongest souls".

Drawing, my mind is at peace.

...

You're scared,
but that's the point.

Another Skydive Booked...

Last day off...

Next day off... 

Down the Line...

When I think of all that's led me here,
It's the kind of world that only exists in movies,
it's the kind of love that makes you want to cry.
I'm so shy,
too shy maybe for this world.
Though some flowers bloom in darkness.

All the things that have happened,
all the pain from my past that's built me,
is spectacular when viewed from a distance.
Because it's all so small compared to me now,
how,
strong I am.
Like an old red oak, next to a daisy.
I've grown without light,
without water,
all alone, on my own.
Now there's a place for me in the sun,
and all that I've done, overcome
Can be seen and celebrated.
And there he is,
a few pages in, that one from my dreams
waiting to take me away.
  

What if I Showed You Something that Took Your Breath Away...

I said.. Most people's doors are completely closed.
He said.. What's behind the door?

Love, and anger,
and fear and joy
and sadness.

And that was it, we both knew it was forever.

Day Dreams in the Night...

Draft Book Cover...

It has its insides, the writings done and with the publisher, now for the design.... Just a draft right now but it's a start, so happy.

Photographer.. lil' me, taken at a natural frozen lake in Banff and yes that's me in the photo too :)

Clarity...

Pale fire wakes up the day,
peeking over the horizon.
I can see the world passing them by.

I live so many lifetimes in a single moment.
In the day the light shines on me,
but in the night nothing can distract from my pain.
All cut up from my past,
that red gold spilling out of me,
but with that I can see myself from the inside,
and I know I'm good.

From an angle life has a cinematic quality,
there's nothing in the way
and when things don't feel real you can live without fear.

I know there's a time coming up,
that's just for me.
There's a break in the day that will give me such joy.
When the sky tares open
and I'm on that swing in my favourite park,
reaching the highest point I close my eyes,
then imagine flying off to the stars.

With gold in my heart
I look the same as I always have.
And although there's a million ways to look at the world,
laying naked under a waterfall in the evening,
looking at the stars,
is the best by far.

Some Flowers Bloom in Darkness...

tonight i am alone
curling into myself to disappear
a flower before spring
so tightly bound and
impossible to open
but the sun comes and i do
arms spread wide to all there is
exposed and unafraid
with love enough for all of us
before the dark comes again

Only him...

I recognise my life from a distance,
the picture fades in and out.

I run out into the sunshine, stand above the hill facing the ocean.
My days were empty, but now they are full.
I always write more when I'm still.
On my own,
alone.

My journal is mostly about him,
and in the darkness,
when I'm cut from love,
I make the rain fall straight as a blade.
It always makes me feel better, its heart beating against the window pane

Though what if I fall again and can't get up.
My old, gold soul
the loudest silence of all-
is that one that happens,
that no one can see,
when I wonder in the night if anyone will wait for me.
Because with only a baby step at a time,
it will take such a long while
for me to walk this mile.

http://www.rainymood.com

Wavering Nights...

There's a million ways to go,
there's a million things to know.

At dinner, I'm surrounded by strangers.
If I close my eyes I can feel it all over again.
Silhouettes creep into the evening as the day goes to bed.

I wait for your words.
Across the river I hear a whisper.
The city's calling me back.
I imagine it's just the same.

But I barely eat, I barely sleep.
Me and my friend Ally walk to the park at night,
lay down on the grass under the cover of the stars,
the cold night air trickling into our hearts.

They make me feel,
like everything's real.
My cheeks are wet,
tears cleanse my heart.

I'm back at the start. 

My Favourite Things...

Writing, travel, this and drawing - In that order...

White plains...

"We cross our bridges when we come to them, and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke and the presumption that our eyes once watered"
            - Tom Stoppard

Overcome...

When the sky meets the sea the world breaks apart.
Where things grow, in the shadow of the stars.
The colours of dawn wait,
they tell me all things.
A glimmer of light wakes up,
and with it brings,
all the hope of the world,
wrapped up in a prize.
I can't look straight at it,
the beauty hurts my eyes.
While I'm waiting for the day,
all the past hurt dies.
Everything is fresh,
and I'm standing at the edge.
Blessed as can be,
all the world is for me.

Shades of Indigo...

All that I've seen, my life could be a dream...

Close your eyes...

All that we are...

Is written, across those stars...

Whether we be walking forward...

Or stepping back...

There's no control on our life...

No preset track...

When I'm wide awake...

I can see...

That all that's beautiful...

Follows me...

Passing shadows...

You're all the way out of the light,
and I can see who you really are.
Your shine isn't bright no more.
It don't really make a difference,
I still feel all things.
It was real,
everything is for me,
even in this fake world.
God knows me inside out,
and all that he puts on my small shoulders,
he must think I'm one of the strongest out. 

Wanderlust...

I'm away again,
catching up with other wandering souls.
The weight of air resting upon my shoulders.
I lose track of time,
my most favourite thing to do.
A whisper of light,
of life.
A silent breeze cuts through,
the grass before the sun has awoke,
the world is mine to take home.

Central Park Beginning of Fall...

Romance...

Top of the World...

That Time They Painted Me on a Building...

Red Balloon...

That Time I Bought a Cowgirl Hat in NYC...

When Nature Prevails...

Brooklyn Loves Barclays...

That Time I Had a Sundae for Breakfast...

Tiny Bar East Village...

Wanderlust...

Still my Favourite Place in the World...

That Time I Bought a Pound of Gummie Bears...

Two Years After College at NYU we Meet Again, He's a Good Old Chap

Travelled from Australia for This Pizza, Bless You Roberta's

Now to Yellowstone, bye NYC see you next year x

In a Corner...

The still light waits for us.
You step first,
Brave, trusting you find a place,
to lay.
Dust finds a home on your jumper,
it clings to you as I have, in the past.

Our fate and path now thick with ice.
Its love is wasted now, its struck the street,
you rolled the dice.
Glitter and wonder stains the highway line.
The colour of our life,
that one we never had.

Saying nothing is enough for me.

Pack it up, take it home, watch it's still beating when you're alone.
All it takes is one step forward,
and I can see for miles and miles and miles. 

Dreams of overcoming...

There's a certain freedom in realising you don't know anything.
About the world.
About life.
Yours or anyone else's.

All that I am in hollow light,
pen on paper, dark and light.
Somewhere God's pulling me apart from me.
Finding out what was took from me.

Your hand soft, a map of you life.
All I see is the red blood of your heart,
your soul full of light.

I lay awake,
all the mistakes lift me off my feet.
Straight above the clouds are low,
their scent nondescript like snow.

All the years you took from me.
Lined up in that forest of trees.
God's whispers of nothing is enough for me.

Hollow,
weight,
if we're quite will we break?
Even after this long hike,
do you think he'll stick with us?

Yellowstone...

When I got there I realised where I was always supposed to be.
As though all the beauty tore me apart,
all the emotion spilled out of me, my heart and everything I am flowed into the river.
Apart of nature again, as I was when first born.
Why did we ever leave, and where did we go that could be better?

It's a better day today,
the tips of my toes are at the edge of the Earth ready to explore it all.
I'm not holding on to anything,
I can breathe unlabored,
I can run for miles,
My eyes are open,
I'm not going to miss a thing.
I can love unburdened.
My heart is full.

Stranger on the Subway...

There's a feeling in the air,
a scent of wonder.
Maybe you're right beside me,
maybe you never let me go.

As though nothing were real I love you without caution.
As though nothing could hurt me, or take you away.

The life before you seems tendered,
like I lived it all in black and white.
Then all of a sudden a splash of colour,
now everything is covered in light.

Each step is a leap,
each pace a bound.
I've climbed the tallest tree that exists,
and can see the world for miles and miles.

I want to run as fast as I can towards you,
and leave this place for our other life,
where you're a farm boy and I'm your princess,
and we live simply in love for the rest of our lives. 

Life...

Imagine the world and all that it is.
Isn't it amazing that anything exists,
when you think about all the things that come together to make life.
It would be so much easier for there to have been nothing at all.   

...

We're only half way out of the dark,
though our existence is still fundamental to all that is.
If we step out of that repetitive circle,
we can see the day, and there's the light.
Now we can, be.

Second Chance...

Your hand reached across the room, cutting through the air like a soft ribbon. I waited to see if anyone was near before I sat up and leant closer. Your fingers were shaking as the cool night air caressed them, trying to guide you away from me. Each second my hand inched closer to yours until I steadied your tremors with my own, making you warm again. Our fingertips coming together slowly, the pressure of touch was comforting in the dark and lonely quarters. You were soft but I could feel the groves in your hand, a map of your life. I walked your journey with my fingertips but I couldn’t tell where it ended, how you came to be here. Although, I didn’t know that of myself, it doesn’t bare thinking about. Holding your hand, not being able to see your face or your body, I thought at least there is one person left who still has something inside.

I woke up wondering if it was a dream.  

Crimson Light...

In crimson light we don’t see the shadows.

We walk towards the treasure the beauty blinds our eyes.

Interaction pains us, so at night we sleep alone.

We forget what we were waiting for so today we walk alone.

The motion stops us thinking about the voices in our head.

The merry-go-round of life leads us in directions we all dread.

Illusion Fades...

We have the same codes, the same outline, my heart beats like yours.

We are functional for a purpose, but you have left yours behind.

So do we hold the same desires? We do not.

We are brothers, sisters, lovers, friends but your life leaves a hole with me.

And to fill it I will not step closer.

But step out with me, and share this dream.

Remember all that we had when we had nothing.

Hold my hand, walk with me.