Tilted...

Upset, lost on a late night.
Two shots out from a lost life.

Waking up in a dream,
just keep at 1000 can't let it subside.
Though this mirror's got me in a fight with myself,
I'm in a war with myself
Still attached to the past and it feels like
way to strong,
It's been way too long.
Feel like I'm going to fight someone.
Someone..

I've just got to learn to breathe for myself.
Stop attacking myself.
let the past be.

I know I let it get the best of me.

In Another Life Maybe...

A fragile heart that beats too slow,
a whisper of love, you had to let go.
For a time you took me away,
from who I was, then asked me to stay.

In my eyes you can always see,
who I am, who I'll always be.
You can trust that love and know for sure
that I couldn't ever close that door.
I had to wait for you to change your mind,
for your love to fade back in time.
To before we met,
before we knew,
a love so deep,
a moment so true.

When I piece my heart together,
in some time.
If I can learn again to walk the line.
Maybe I can tell you how I really feel.

I'll stitch together the memories we shared,
and let you see
everything we are and what you really mean to me. 

Infatuations...

They drown in thoughts deeper than the surface,
as they paddle in circles never closer to the shore.
The beating of so many hearts fade, an unfulfilled tone of inadequacy echoes.
Filling tomorrow with similar monotonous action.
In a mirror of continued madness.

Toward a sky they cannot hold,
in place of a life that fits the mould.

I stare from the other side,
climbing a tree to get a better line.
As I reach on, my heartbeat quickens.
Lips a deep red, as though dipped in sacrifice.

To take another step forward,
is a risk to fall.
Adrenalised warmth rushing under my skin.
Another breath, thin of air as I look within.

Toward a light no one else can see,
in search of a meaning greater than me.

I take a look at the sky above,
awaiting the stars return.
To a world that doesn't notice.
Why would they shine tonight?

Judgement...

I fall asleep before the day ends.
Shadows pulling me into the dark,
with the promise of filling the void in my heart.
But sweet dreams bring no rest.
They stand by idle, watching the day,
counting down until night, when I can come play.
But when I arrive I bring the waves.
The calming dark water, filling in the shadows space.
Then I can see who they really are,
and I don't know if I want a part.

I touch the surface of the water
it takes me in
not needing to know my sins. 

Between the Light...

A dark night, full of light.
A hopeful dawn, at first sight.
The colours above, as down below,
shows the worlds heart, before it knew.
What it was or who it loved,
and why everything hurt each moment of,
a breath still thin, though a weight inside
In its lungs, a breath of life.
I wait now as it did before,
for the light to reach the forest floor.
All things live as the sun shares its love.
And all things are good, I can trust. 

Next Time...

The moon won't come out to play,
as all the hugs in the world get together to warm the stars.
I can see the inside of your heart.
My nails make small crescent shaped marks on my hands.

I think, you should run as fast as you can
Then I wonder if I'm in the same place.
I know for sure you're not.
In my mind he and I still dance in grocery lines,
'till the end of time.

You're still breathing,
I pretend you died, then your words mean something different.

I finally open my palm, he slips between the gaps of my fingers,
as I let him go,
to free myself.

As we Break...

You're a flower, a breathe of air, a whisper in my dream.
A ray of sun, all the stars in my sky, everything it seems.
But as I look above the water and my lips break the waves,
the horizon tells me a story reminding me of all my past mistakes.
A fear catches hold of me as I try to swim away,
with a panic that leaves me as breathless as the day he walked away.

I feel so much and live too fast without much time to rest.
Though even without words, my heart has always beat quicker than the days pace at its best.

So maybe I'm not from here and to stay would be a crime,
because these four walls that you've built around me force me to step off line.
And as I stray further from the path and you fade from my mind.
I'm closer to the shadow of death that's followed me for all of time. 

Faded...

As though the waves are trying to touch me,

The tide stretches across the sand as far as it can.

I breathe that morning air, new and fresh with hope and promise,

As though all that’s happened in the past that hurt me can be taken away.

I reach for your memory, because you will always be there,

But my hand just finds the shadows of the clouds resting across the horizon.

I feel tomorrow caressing my shoulder and all I can do is run on,

Reminded of your life against mine,

Our hearts beating together

For the rest of time.

Haunted by the Rain...

Hunted down in the shadows of night,
they catch me, hold me down, tight
my breath turns to mist as you squeeze out all the light.

Back there on the other side of time,
picture frames smash as he takes away their life.
I'm left here alone, wandering in and out of lines.

She had a flower in her hair,
her eyes still open in a stare.

When she left I pictured my life,
without her smile,
everything's cold.
Without her wishes,
everything's old.
Her gold,
soul,
gone to pieces in the rain,
as my tears fall down and stain
that road forever that took me away,
from all the things I knew
half my heart left in yesterday.

Dark Days...

The dust from the moon settles on me as I rest.
In and out I breath, hoping this is finally the end.

Once I was so scared I held my breath until I passed out.
Reality set in covering me up to my lips in doubt.

When I finally spoke, my words fell into a dark room.
No one was there to pick them up,
I wandered into the past alone.

I like to wait there for the day to end.
At least I already know what happens and I don't have to pretend.

I go back to all the places that hurt me the most,
to see how strong I really am
and remind myself of what matters most.

But as I walk the day and step in and out of light,
I see all these shadows that should have been there in stead of I.

Maybe that's a bad thing to think,
but maybe they don't know.
How precious life is, until its taken from under them,
before they've had a chance to grow.

What's all this waiting,
you don't have all this time
that was promised when you were born
a tragedy if you don't get time to walk the line?

But what is the line?
When you're forced to conform.
Where's all the adventure, the risks, the child in us that dies before we even know.

Then I'm out of breath and my vision starts to blur.
My eye lids are heavy but no sleep comes to me, so I defer
thinking of how much I want to go and be with them
and try to promise myself I won't.

Imaginary City...

I fall in love with the shadows every time they fall. 

Things are different at night; people speak softly to each other as if afraid to wake the dark. Then as the daybreaks and life slowly falls into place the air becomes thinner, difficult to breath. And as though the light spoken of moments ago, came from nowhere, the sun starts to peek through, so hopeful. 

Not yet too bright no need to close your eyes.

My shadow stretches out across the ground as if waking from a sleep I never knew. It’s so much bigger than me, bigger than my heart. Because it’s a part of me I feel strong, though I know its glow before it was touched could burn the world, now it only flickers in and out as it tries to heal. 

My mind so open though from all that it feels, the details in everything.

Steps forward are effortless, a deep breath in winter you can feel in your lungs as a moment ends and a new one begins. The cool breeze as you step inside a new memory, like a blanket fallen to your side during the night.

Then the rain, enclosing me in a moment, I know everything’s real because I can feel the air touching my skin, then the sensation of falling sideways, the scent of perfume against her neck. A rush of blood to the head, then the black of night 

the ink on my page, a welcome home.

Most of the shadows that mill around me don’t hold life, like an English winter making everything grey, even their eyes the colour of cold tea. 

Life scares them back onto the walls out of sight, as though they were never there.

Too many people that are here don’t even exist.

Sorrow as you catch the scent of the rain falling as straight as a blades edge, the trees whispering sweet nothings to each other, indistinguishable like the moment between breaths.

Can you hear it? Someone is falling in love, right now somewhere, a single raindrop crawls to the end of her nose, falling to the puddle below awaiting the game. A second of consideration, though nothing was considered she jumps and falls, the fearless and innocent expectance that nothing will do her harm. 

Even if it does, she will jump and fall again, somewhere else for someone else, someone worth the risk.

Falling Skies...

As the sky holds everything together, the world falls apart.
Like a spread of mountains against a soft dawn, bathing the day in a yellow light.
We don't realise what we miss when we close our eyes.

Where things grow in the shadows of the night.
How were we to ever know darkness can also give life?
And where would we look for flowers bursting through concrete?
Between the ones we never forgave,
and the bitter breath in our lungs that makes us weak.

As the clouds cry for all the things we never notice,
the sky finally lets everything go,
lost treasures fall to the Earth,
in and out of focus.

Day's Wake...

If I'd have known,
the sun would never rise,
the trees would never grow.

Sometimes the world is so perfect, it feels like a mistake.
We ride the line and as we get higher,
there's a break,
in the day.
As though life is letting us longer consider,
if we should walk away.

A second, a whisper, a look of love,
prepared me for the moment,
I'd always dreamed of...

I'm not lost, I'm just wandering.
And if everyone is lonely,
no one's ever alone.
And if your path was already set,
I was meant to step this way on my own.

Too long we've thought, that space beside us needs to be filled.
But if you think on everything, all the mistakes and what was willed,
you'll see in life there is no plan.
Your soft features, and your innocence is something that can stand,
on its own,
in the face of the wildest storm.
Because the one that's always stood beside us,
rather above,
built us strong enough to walk this path alone,
made our hearts in a way that lets them love again even if broke,
into pieces like a perfect wave.
Like the specs of sand that caress the Earth at the shores base.

As I see undistracted, I notice all the tiny details,
of this patchwork quilt that is the world,
and all the reasons it can't fail.

Photo I took flying over Australia recently...

Distance...

Be not a kiss, a gaze, a breath.
Be not the words whispered in my ear as we dance on the edge.
If only a hand to hold when I feel so alone,
don't plan a future in the distance, a promise so hollow.
Compared to a raindrop against my skin, that soaks right in,
be the kiss that lingers on my neck when I whisper for you to come in.
A hometown history of two so in love,
travel through the sky with me, don't look down, just above.

We stroll on the path, hand in hand.
The journey up and down, though you stand,
steadfast as a tin soldier, from the fairytale I read as a child.
Up for all adventures, your spirit like mine, so wild.

Stand still while we breathe.
So you can feel the day.
To forget life for a moment and exist only in your gaze,
is an ocean I dive into when I feel so alone.
Though now it's only a memory slowly fading,
of what we were when we called each other home.

Two Seconds, Stand Still...

It's a foreign land we set foot on,
the Earth's crust, a soft welcoming home.
Blinded by the forests' beauty,
weighed down by love alone.

Cast your eyes to the stars,
the night makes a home for your sight.
If feathers, could compare,
to the wonder in our eyes,
our flight wouldn't be so unsteady,
our path instead light.

Thoughts of the past, blur the days rays.
Making shadows create a home, in unwanted space.
What wonders have we seen?
So much we don't know.
Floating in the breeze,
two steps forward, back?
No one knows.

If light could keep me still,
I would have no need for flight.

The stars touch my eyes,
I can see the sky,
ahead, above, of worlds yet unknown.
So I pack my bag, heart still racing
to find a place to call my own.

 ^.^

We All Grew From Something...

I take in the scent of the paper,
my tears make a wave.
I can still smell the tree it grew from,
the Earth that built its frame.
For me, it wept and died,
and now bares all the weight,
of the ink from my pen and the blood from my heart,
and the heavy words that whisper his name.

This Time...

It wasn't a fleeting moment in time,
we had.
It was forever in a moment.

In the Night...

The sunset breaks apart the world cutting it into shadows,
and packing it away for another day.

He paused as if considering all the possibilities of the world in a single moment.
We stayed up until dawn.

Checking out the new Zip... ^.^

Once Upon a Whisper...

It’s black and white on the surface,

but underneath there’s a sea.

The longer you hold on the harder it is to breathe.

There’s this place I’ve been making,

that’s on the other side.

It’s not made of black and white,

but all the stars that have collide.

Imagine if you waited, slowed down

just a sec

and with your eyes you looked, at the sea again.

Watching all of life up close, could you turn away?

I’ll tell you a secret in a whisper,

nothing you said could make me stay.

No two people on the planet share the same eyes.

And as you look into mine and I look into yours,

something inside me starts to cry.

There was a girl who once existed,

who could feel all of time in a single instant.

One day she fell in love

and at the same time, she wondered why?

For that moment she was happy and sad.

Happy because she knew, for him it was just the beginning,
Sad because for her, it was already over.

Life Steps Almost Straight...

When I read some of my favourite poems
it affirms how mediocre my writing is, 
but always motivates me to keep trying to be better.

We grow accustomed to the Dark -
When light is put away -
As when the Neighbor holds the Lamp
To witness her Goodbye -

A Moment - We uncertain step
For newness of the night -
Then - fit our Vision to the Dark -
And meet the Road - erect -

And so of larger - Darknesses -
Those Evenings of the Brain -
When not a Moon disclose a sign -
Or Star - come out - within -

The Bravest - grope a little -
And sometimes hit a Tree
Directly in the Forehead -
But as they learn to see -

Either the Darkness alters -
Or something in the sight
Adjusts itself to Midnight -
And Life steps almost straight.

-Emily Dickinson

Distractions...

You think you know who you are.
But you're wrong.
You only know yourself as a part of the life you're living now.
Never of what you could be,
somewhere else,
someone else.

Dreams scattered on the sidewalk, paving the way to those tall buildings,
the one's that weren't ever there before.
In a different world, at a different time.
Your life's not the same, and it shouldn't be.

There's so much more, made up of what you can't touch.
Maybe things don't have to keep getting darker.
Somewhere there's some light. 

Falling Backwards...

Underneath, I can see the day.
How we all hold on, to stop what's already left, floating away.
Who are we?
and where do we all belong?
How can we walk straight past the bird that sings us a song?
without even a glimpse.
The moment's passed.
Like a wandering heart, a lost love,
a broken song, if only it last.

Life's so busy, we forget the day.
Forget what it's like to whisper inside a second,
goodbye to a lover walking away.
Or maybe even, to take one step at a time.
To look in the eyes, and feel with the heart,
such raw emotion, we could die.
So much for us to bare,
a closeness we cannot share,
with a passing stranger, even a loved one,
a brother, a prayer.

Destination unknown.
All this thought is not wise,
because once you know, you know.
You're awake then, never to close your eyes. 

I'm with you.

Though thinking, sometimes you don't know when the light will return.
It might just keep getting darker.

There's this illusion and maybe it's hard not to fall,
but I know my steps are heavy because my heart is full.
And all this waiting for the day to change makes it difficult to breathe.

I'm on this plane again in a month,
to that side of the world I can't stop going back to.
So many places feel like home.
All the moving, and the seeing, and the living has made me so restless.
Enough to know a conventional life is not my path.

What's a car,
a house,
a stash.
All I need is my paper, books, a river and a dream.

Though I can't fault the way,
my parents raised me.
All those countries, still making sure we went to church every week.
And I still do,
hold her hand
to make sure she feels like all this makes a difference.
And it does in small ways.
How quite we are,
a time to think,
to rest.

For me.
To know.
I've made mistakes in the past,
that I'm not perfect, but try every day to be better.

To see us trapped,
it breaks my heart.
All actors on a stage dancing to a broken song.
So everyday I fight it,
be spontaneous,
no plan B because I don't even have a plan A.

Everyday is an open window,
and I'm a bird.
Just a bird.